Let’s face it, uncertainty is a part of the dating process, especially in the beginning stages. So how do we confidently choose the right person to move forward with? How do we know we are making the right choice?

Dear Jennifer,

Online dating is totally overwhelming. There are so many people to shift and filter through. I have a few guys who want to go on dates with me, but it seems like every choice is a coin toss. I’m open to finding love, but I don’t want to waste my time. How can I be certain that I am making the right choice when meeting people online?

Signed,

Helpfran

Dear Helpfran,

One of the biggest advantages (and disadvantages) of online dating is the amount of options. You are plagued with so many choices, reading profiles and scrolling through photos multiple times each day almost becomes an obsession.  For this reason, you have to remember your uncertainty in selecting dates is a part of the process. Looking through a sea of people in hopes of finding your match can be a daunting task; but simply put, you will not discover this person unless you interact with and get to know multiple people. Yes, this means taking the chance of having a few bad dates—but don’t get discouraged. Every interaction (or date) is an opportunity to start something wonderful. 

Try to let the idea of being completely certain go. Instead, try to relax and be open to the possibilities of a new relationship. Be curious rather than trying to feel certain, because no one is ever certain. There couples who live together for years and still aren’t certain. That type of certainty is just not possible. You have to trust yourself. Trust the intrigue you have with your potential matches, trust your attraction to them, and trust the excitement you feel about getting to know them more. Embrace those butterflies and have fun dating! 

XOXO,

Jennifer J. Hayes